Proverbs 18:20

From the fruit of a man's mouth his stomach is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips.

[Proverbs 18:20]

Modernity is the domain of the expert. In the eyes of many, white lab coats ought to rule the world, deciding policy in government and running the church and regulating precisely how you raise your kids. It seems, on the first blush, at least plausible. Those who know so much about a topic cannot but be the best arbiters of the matter, we think; they have the technical skills, and we don’t. What this first impression misses is the fact today’s proverb points to. Technical skills play second fiddle to relationship (if often a very important second fiddle).

Relationships are the building block of life. We are born as children to parents, and that first relationship shapes how we live the rest of our lives, gives us strengths and weaknesses. We have siblings and friend. We find spouses. We build relationships in vocation and recreation and church. In a sense, too, we have a relationship with ourselves, alternating between instructing and correcting ourselves, seeking to cultivate righteousness. Above all, we are defined by our relationship to God.

Technical skills- knowing how to do something- are very important in vocation. If I don’t know how to drive a tractor, I ain’t gonna be making my living driving that tractor, save I learn. But ask: how do I learn? How do I get a job?

I form a relationship. I find a teacher; I find somebody whose tractor I can work with, even if it’s my prospective employer. I find an employer, too, and form some sort of relationship with him. Or I buy my own tractor and start building relationships with clients.

Modern society is intensely transactional, admittedly, and we’ve made strides in eliminating the human element of hiring, work, etc. You can’t form a real relationship with an AI, just the one-sided facsimile of one. This abstention from relationship, however, is an unrighteous (Matt. 28:18-20) and unhealthy way to live. Man was made to live in relationship with other men; God declared as much in Genesis as pretext for the creation of the relationship which would create all future mankind: “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Gen. 2:18).

Proverbs here is warning us of the reality of human life, the reality we’ll not flee except by extreme impudence: we become fruitful and find joy only in relationship. Our tongues are therefore of great concern for us, as central tools in finding that relationship. Whether in our heads to God, with our tongues to each other, or with our fingers on keyboards, we use language to develop the relationships which are the beauty and means of God-honoring, joyous life (Phil. 4:4).

With my tongue, I break relationships, casting myself into economic decrepitude and isolating myself from that good company which brings not only joy but righteousness (John 13:34-35; Prov. 27:17). Or I can heed God’s advice and use my tongue to create those relationships which honor Him and bring both participants to greater peace and virtue. Thus, though perhaps physical satiety will evade me (Ps. 73:13-15), I can have satisfaction which looks forward to eternity. Relationships, after all, have alone of what we make on this earth the potential to last beyond our deaths and the death of this world.

Speaking of which: we must not take this admonition of the use of the tongue as an excuse. Yes, a tongue which flatters or poisons or lies, which creates a relationship that has no regard for God or His truth, that tongue can bring physical satisfaction, a full stomach and warm toes and four walls with a roof. For a while. Even with all that, though, we must weigh current pleasure and ease against eternity, remembered that “… friendship with the world is enmity with God[.] Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God” (James 4:4).

The most important relationship which we can have, the only relationship which produces final satisfaction, is our relationship with our God. In this, we should heed the admonition of Isaiah 58: “If you turn back your foot from the Sabbath, from doing your pleasure on my holy day, and call the Sabbath a delight and the holy day of the Lord honorable; if you honor it, not going your own ways, or seeking your own pleasure, or talking idly; then you shall take delight in the Lord, and I will make you ride on the heights of the earth; I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father, for the mouth of the Lord has spoken” (v13-14).

Written by Colson Potter

God bless.